Today is February 25th, 2018 and the first day of the rest of my life and a date that carries so much significance for me. I am still settling into my goals for 2018, as I take a moment to reflect on all I’m grateful for, big and small.
This vision board hangs in my office as a reminder to live a life full of joy and never lose sight of what matters most. My word of the year is HOME and my overall goal this year is to create an environment at home that is filled with beauty that serves my family and strengthen the relationships with those I love most while growing a business that celebrates love and intimate gatherings.
My mission is, quite simply, is to create beauty while loving myself and those who matter most to me. This means making time for me so that I can be the best I can be for others. This means clearing the clutter – physical and mental – so that I can focus on what matters. This means making plans to improve my life, and following through to make it happen. This means supporting and inspiring others, and asking for support and motivation when I need it most.
I don’t know how to do anything ‘half-way’ or partially. With me, it’s all or nothing.
I have been struggling with losing weight for some time, as I have given into stress eating and skipping meals for too long. I have tried diets and counting calories, only to lose the weight temporarily and bounce back once it’s over.
I have gone through rounds of organizing and reshuffling things only to have them resurface in my home, even though they no longer serve me or bring me joy. I have lost my temper with my sweet family over an item that’s in the wrong place or items that are taking over our space at home.
I have made plans for dream vacations that I’ve been unable to honor because, too often, a quick stop at Target turns into a shopping spree for all the things I love but don’t actually need, and I am an expert at justifying that I do need it and have to have it.
I have planned to do a fun date night with my husband every month, only to fail continuously because we can’t find a babysitter or can’t figure out something fun or different worth getting out for.
I have missed birthdays and anniversaries because I’m ‘too busy’ when in busier times in my life I pre-purchased birthday cards and sent them to my friends and family to brighten their day and let them know they’re not forgotten.
I am my worst critic and my biggest cheerleader at the same time. I tell myself ‘You got this’ while my inner voice is saying ‘You are not enough’. I am not skinny enough, strong enough, organized enough, fun enough, patient enough. I am too busy, too much of a perfectionist, want too much. My vision is unrealistic, not achievable, just a dream.
Well, I’ve had enough. Today is the day. Today marks 8 years since we brought our micro-preemie twin girls home after spending their first two months of their lives in the NICU after I spent three weeks on bed rest during my favorite holiday season of the year – Christmas. Today marks 14 years since I bought my first home on my own, in Phoenix Arizona, after moving on a whim for a better quality of life and work life balance – where I met the man who became my husband and whom I love with all my heart.
Today marks one year from the date I ran the 10K Disney Princess Run with no history of ever even running a 5K, and while I fought bronchitis. I ran reluctantly that day, but in the end, I ran for my family that day. I visualized crossing the finish line with my sweet family at the finish line cheering me on, even though in reality they were home tracking my progress online. Visualization is a powerful tool.
I visualized my ideal home layout when shopping for my first home and the home I purchased was laid out exactly the way I envisioned it. I visualized bringing home two healthy babies, when I was in the hospital for three weeks, even though my first night there they almost rushed me into a C-section when my tiniest baby was at risk for not making it.
Today, I visualize a life filled with more joy and laughter than I’ve had in the past five years, as I’ve focused on doing so much while starting to lose sight of what I already have and have achieved.
Today, I start a fresh new program to kickstart my health and reset my eating habits. I start the Whole 30 program with my #1 cheerleader, my sweet husband. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, I will want to give up. Yes, I will want to end my nights with my usual glass of wine. Yes, I will miss the generous dose of milk and sugar in my morning coffee. But I refuse to give up. This will be hard. But I have done hard before. Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. Owning a business is hard. Life and anything worth having is hard. If things were easy, the reward wouldn’t be as fulfilling.
I may even bring this blog back to life very soon, but for now, I hope you don’t mind this unstructured approach. I simply want to capture my thoughts and set them out in the universe so they can come back to me as wishes and dreams that come true.
Until then, enjoy the sweet life and all that’s good in your life today.